If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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