Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
