one two three fourrrrnication!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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