Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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