how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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