Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
