drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
