dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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