I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
