fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
