This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize