Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
