Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
