Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
