I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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