Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The power of my boobs compel you
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
