xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
