No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
