so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
