i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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