Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
