You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
