I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
