Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
