wrigley field is MILF paradise
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
