You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
