You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
