You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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