I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
