I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
