today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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