I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
