Kiss
Puke
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
