Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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