Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize