So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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