can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
