i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
