I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
