somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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