Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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