We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
