Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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