Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
