I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
