So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
