I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
