Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
