I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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