totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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