who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize