How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
