you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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