Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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