is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
