Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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