i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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