bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
