He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
