Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
