k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
