i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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