Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
