Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
