Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
