When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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