There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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