this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
